H2O - Hip Hop is dead?

June | 13•2008
filed under "Video Games"

Jamie and i tried out the new Age of Conan: Adventures in Hyboria. and i have really reserved myself in going all out in explaining why i hated the game. i have let it out here and there that i disliked the game greatly, but nothing too extreme... until now:

ive finally decided to put out my official word on this one. and as proof that i played: this was my character, Timm, and these opinions are mine based on my crappy experience on age of conan (or AoC). im not saying im one hundred percent correct, im just saying this is how i feel about this crappy game. all of these screen shots are from the starting zone. when i left the staring zone... everything went to hell and i have no screenshots of that.

There and Back Again, a Stygian Holiday... or
5 reasons i left hyboria and returned to azeroth

1. ART
while the age of conan boasts a great deal of new styled combat and new places to explore, it does not have very much in the way of original gear or original looking gear or fantastic gear or fantastic looking gear. they have some interesting sword, axe, and mace designs as well as very nice looking bows and some cool daggers... they are not amazing. they do not glow and they do not feel fantastic. the monsters are squint eyed and their movements and gestures are plain and unexciting. that coupled by the fact that black men look like white men gave this game a big goose egg (0) in artistic design. while the graphics are good, when a spell is used, it is not amazing and the impact of that spell has no feeling.

wow 1 / conan 0

2. SOCIALIZATION
the game is very social, but why would you want to talk to someone who can easily kill you, furthermore, why would you want someone you just killed to talk to you and send you angry messages. and then why would you want someone who is camping you to talk to you? you dont. one of conan's most annoying problems is that you can talk to the people who are being total douches and that they can talk to you.

wow 2 / conan 0

3. PVP
Of all the damn fool things that couldve been done in the game, unpenalized pvp between low leveled and high leveled characters is the worst. Conan is flooded with both immature and ignorant players who can neither spell nor have the intelligence to quest. so what they do is grind expereince and gank the lowbies. there isnt much you can do to a player in high level gear, with high level weapons (all of which look similar to your own). since instancing is done publicly for a majority of the game, youre subject to ganking in whole new places now. you can be ganked in a city, in a town, in a cave, dungeon, run over by beasts, and have a heart attack at a young age due to extreme displeasure. only an asshole enjoys a game like this.

wow 3 / conan 0

4. Mounts
you get a choice of one of 3 mounts, all of them handle like crap and come in like ridiculous numbers of colors. look, note to funcom & eidos, just because it comes in 60 colors does not make it fun to ride. and while we're sending you notes, one of the reasons we wanted to quit wow was the ridiculous riding skill fees. good to see you understood that... by doing the exact same thing. at least in azeroth... you can fly.

wow 4 / conan 0

5. SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS

Required:

OS: Windows Vista/XP
Processor: 3GHz Pentium IV
RAM: 1GB RAM
Video Card: Shader Model 2.0 and 128MB RAM: NVIDIA GeForce 5800 or ATI 9800

These will get you badly rendered, poorly shaded with terrible framerates and aweful response times and of course everyone's favorite graphical errors and crashes. this is at low settings.

Recommended:

CPU: Core 2 Duo E6600 or equivalent
CPU Speed: 2.4 GHz
System Ram: 2 GB
Operating System: Windows XP SP2 or Vista
Drive Type: DVD Drive
Free Disk Space: 27 GB
Video Card: 512 MB DirectX 9.0c Graphics Card with Shader 3.0 support
(NVIDIA GeForce 7900 GTX or equivalent)
Video Card Features:
-Video Ram: 512 MB
-Video Card 3D Acceleration: Required
-Video HW Transform & Lighting: Required
-Vertex Shader Ver: Required - 2.0
Supported - 2.0, 2.0+, 3.0
-Pixel Shader Ver: Required - 2.0
Supported - 2.0, 2.0+, 3.0

Hey you know whats funny about that, i actually meet / beat the system requirements... and let me tell you... what they mean is an Nvidia 9600GX or greater, two quad core processors, 16GB of ram, and the HAL 9000 AI. with all of that you could possibly beat my personal best of 22FPS.

but still i wonder, why such high sys-req when games like world of warcraft, FFXI, and everquest 2, require so much less while displaying so many more extreme effects? not that i care anymore, you see; ACCOUNT CANCELED.

wow 5 / conan loses

im calling the game crap and ending my complaint session without ever getting into the real complications of the user interface, as well as the lack of descriptions in the skills and the difficulties that you will have trying to understand exactly why you can be in the same place on the same server with your friends and never see them in town. combat is a button mashing mess and the only reason anyone would stay on this game is for the boobs.

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